Better late than never - Happy New Year. I spied with my little eye that a number of my wondrously artistic friends had joined a group on Facebook called 'Bead Journal Project'. I had a wee peek at the page and it's info and realised that it was something I would love to try out - beading for therapy!
Those of you in the group who know me, will know that I suffer from severe depression, anxiety and elevated levels of stress. I have no excuses and no finger pointing has occurred - I guess my brain is just wired a little differently.
As the group began posting their first pieces (the idea is to complete one a month), nerves kicked in. I began to think this whole idea was not for me - high standards abound, and I let my inner critic say too much.
Thanks to some wonderful comments from supportive members, I decided to give it a go. And now, I have not one, but two pieces to share. First of all came 'Wisdom'.
Those of you in the group who know me, will know that I suffer from severe depression, anxiety and elevated levels of stress. I have no excuses and no finger pointing has occurred - I guess my brain is just wired a little differently.
As the group began posting their first pieces (the idea is to complete one a month), nerves kicked in. I began to think this whole idea was not for me - high standards abound, and I let my inner critic say too much.
Thanks to some wonderful comments from supportive members, I decided to give it a go. And now, I have not one, but two pieces to share. First of all came 'Wisdom'.
'Wisdom' by Cherry Obsidia
Wisdom is an attribute I strive to achieve. A very good friend gifted me the beautiful central character, and I have been looking at him for a while, trying to decide how he wanted to be used. Once inspiration struck, he took me a little under two hours to complete. He is embellished with pearls, Greek ceramic, a variety of seed beads and some Czech glass leaves. Keeping the thought in mind that wisdom is often the simplest of ideas, I strung the finished piece on a Chinese silk cord. I rather like him.
Onto the second piece. This one is very much more personal, and is difficult for me to write about. My mental disorders leave me pretty exhausted and intimacy with my husband is not one of my priorities. This causes me a lot of pain, as I wish I shared his desires. He (jokingly) refers to me as 'The Ice Maiden'. So here is my interpretation of that.
'Ice Maiden' by Cherry Obsidia
The centrepiece of this embroidered pendant is a sliver of stone encrusted with tiny quartz crystals that he found on the beach and handed to me. I kept the embellishment fairly simple, but when I wear it, the crystal dagger points right at my heart - because although I know he is joking, that name causes me to feel as though I am being stabbed every time I hear him say it...
Sorry if this is a little too much info, but the one thing I have promised myself about BJP is that I am going to be honest, and hope that this helps me fight my demons this year...thanks for reading,
Sorry if this is a little too much info, but the one thing I have promised myself about BJP is that I am going to be honest, and hope that this helps me fight my demons this year...thanks for reading,
Dee
Thank you for bravely sharing the meaning behind this piece. Mental disorders are binding in so many ways and painful and this comes out in your piece. Keep demon fighting!
ReplyDeleteEven Ice Maidens can melt ... you didn't think you could do yourself justice in the BJP and just look at what you've achieved already.
ReplyDeleteI'm crying. I'm not as brave as you are, Dee. I admire that about you, and applaud that you can share. Your pieces are amazing. You, yourself, are beyond amazing. The hugest hug in the world is coming your way, and if you ever need to talk...
ReplyDeleteI am very touched by your beaded story. Interestingly, when I first saw it on FB, I had the sense that it had something to do with sex, the "dagger" looking that way. As simple as it is, it does convey a sense of angst. There's also beauty in it. I can not imagine how hurtful it would be to be called "The Ice Maiden." I found it hurtful to be called "the wife"... your husband has found a much sharper dagger. At the end of your post, you said "Sorry if this is a little too much info"... It's not too much for me... It is a gift for me, a huge blessing to be trusted with such an intimate sharing of your inner feelings. Having revealed yourself like this, you might feel a little intimidated about the next piece. My suggestion is to bead your continuing story as honestly as you can. If it seems like too much, write/post only what is comfortable. There is no rule that you must post a picture of your piece... You do not have to prove to the other members that you are keeping up. So if it doesn't feel safe, there's no need even to post a picture. Like Nancy's, another huge hug is headed your way. Bless you.
ReplyDeleteDee, your story is open and honest. How could that possibly be too much? Mental disorders are very difficult to put into words, let alone share with the world. Thank you for feeling that you could share it with us. <3
ReplyDelete